Just another day.

Been 4 nights of laying still with eyes shut tight, trying to force myself to sleep. But how does one chance upon sleep and peace when there is none in the heart of mind. 
The few hours of shut eye (literally) manages to accumulate just enough energy to expend in the one hour or so of flying that I do the next morning. Rest of the day is just tiring, red eyes, waiting for sleep, it knows will not come. 
Dependency. What does mean? What does it cost?! Being independent does not hold true in all stages/manners/scenarios of life. There will come times when you chance upon this one person, how so ever they may be, that one person you wish to think of, talk of, talk to, look at, be thought of, etc etc. Mighty frivolous rather. But then, smaller things in life matter. And they really do. I have known it. Felt it. Despised it. Accepted it.
Being in and out of someones life and the vice versa, not only makes you need them all the time, but rather a part of your time. It’s a whole lot of confusing analogy, which consumes a whole lot of thought, heart and mind. 
To keep it simple and short, you need this one person so bad, that they somehow are the most important variable (constant) to your life’s equation and a small smudge on the paper of creation and boom! The equation makes no sense no more. 
Maybe I’ll sleep a little less a little more. But then that’s that. Ego and compassion. Bad pair.
So much so long from 10000 feet as of today. 300 knots and a whole lot of thrust has fallen small infront of a voice and memory.

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